If I have the courage
Very often in our work together we will employ what has been called ‘healing sentences’ that come forward from the family soul. These words, the language of the soul’, really do emerge from the silence, form the ‘not knowing’ into the clarity of the knowing. When the mind tries to figure out what it logical, what makes sense, then it rarely truly knows and that knowledge is often not restful. However, when the language of the soul or insight emerges from the silence, then there is a great peace that comes along with the knowing.
In order to experience the silence, we must first be comfortable with not knowing, indeed, have the courage not to know.
Very often when we have an issue we may start by saying ‘I have a problem and I don’t know how to resolve it’, we then proceed to try and resolve it in many different ways. This never brings peace to the soul. When we have the courage to be at peace with ‘I don’t know’ and surrender to the silence, not only does peace prevail but so too does a solution present itself and often the solution is the silence itself.
When the mind is silent, the whispering of the heart can be heard.
As our personal healing path develops we uncover many things that we must have courage to do – such as the courage to let go and move into the unknown but there is another courage that is rarely considered: the courage to be happy.
It has been said that it takes a very courageous child to happier than it parents. If our life has been dominated by fear, disappointment, grief, anger, rage or rejection then these have become part of our life story and in many cases so much so that we identify ourselves with these aspects so much that we begin to live as if they are us. So indeed, it takes courage to let go of them as each letting go can feel like a death or destruction.
So let us now work with a healing sentence that frequently emerges from the soul. Take a moment to get comfortable and most importantly to get comfortable with the silence that may ensue. Sit with both or either of these sentences and imagine saying them:
‘Dear Mother, please bless me if I have the courage to be happier than you’
‘Dear Father, please smile upon me kindly if I have the courage to be happier than you’
As you sit in the silence and perhaps even with the not knowing of why you would say such a thing, be a witness to what emerges from the silence. It could be sadness, grief, relief, anger, cynicism, hostility, a need to punish etc. Whatever is present, simply allow it to be. Was it easy to say? Was it difficult?
You may also want to alter the sentence slightly and address it to someone else, such as: a sibling who is sick, disabled, addicted, a friend who died young, a former partner/spouse who is struggling or any loved one in the present or in the past who has suffered.
This exercise can be very potent in helping you to feel with whom you have ties of unhealthy loyalties that are stopping you from living your life more fully.