Cutting Cords: To cut or not to cut?

In the world of energy healing there are a few things that can trigger a reaction in me as a professional healer with a long track record of working with individuals and groups in the context of systemic and ancestral healing and that is the bold advertisement for a one or two day ‘Cord Cutting’ workshop!

One of the greatest weaknesses of Western Culture and the newly wealthy areas of the world is that it seems many of us are looking for instant gratification, shortcuts and instant results. Instant results sell very well, and why? Because when we avoid necessary foundational work we’re stuck in toddler mentality and grasp with instant interest and need, losing our interest in it just as quickly. In the days of our parents and grandparents if a new pair of shoes was needed, they saved up for it. For the past three decades we simply go out and buy what we want in an instant and if there is no cash, there is always a credit card. In this way instant gratification has become the norm for so many of us.

Cord Cutting is another one of those topics that has fallen under the long shadow of buying healing and spirituality ‘off the shelf’ – just like Yoga, Energy Healing, Meditation, Ayahuasca and a long list of disciplines that have taken thousands of years to develop. There are those who say things like ‘we’re in new times, there is no need for all those steps, and we can go directly to the source’. If you are sufficiently blessed enough to be able to see and sense energies, then it is clear that those wanting and offering the quick fixes are generally not grounded in their bodies and those arguing the short cuts are more often than not in avoidance of pain and are often hoping that trans-personal work will resolve foundational issues of core wounding. It is not that I am advocating misery as a way to reach enlightenment; however, quick fixes are just that – they’re quick; they fix it……until it needs repair all over again.

So let us look at cords. Chakra Cords or also called Relational Cords are strings of energy that run between individuals, within religious and political groups, within families, ethnicities and nations. More commonly they are experienced as our energetic connection to family members, friends, spouses, partners and lovers.

Although not experienced through usual five sense perception, the knowledge of such energetic connections has crept into our day to day language use with expressions such as ‘No strings attached’, ‘Cut the ties’. Very often when we express feeling ‘tied’ to a job, situation or another person, a relational cord will be involved on one level or another, involving one or in some cases, several chakras in the human energy field. Cords can be transient or permanent, even existing over many lifetimes.

So what do cords do? Essentially one can see them as telephone lines between individuals, or like the internet in a family or other grouping. In their highest state they serve to transmit love from one person to another and even knowledge. In the animal kingdom, scientists often refer to ‘instinct’; however, knowledge may be transmitted through relational cords down through the generations.

Cord Cutting – Pitfalls

When we are motivated to engage in a quick fix approach to cord cutting then what we are relinquishing is not only an opportunity to grow through the lesson of relationship, but we may also be denying ourselves vital life force energy. Those who seek cord cutting are often doing so to evade parents, siblings or ex-partner. Each of those relationships is a primary relationship and more often than not, deep karmic bonds exist. So let’s say we want to have a cord cut to our ex called ‘Jo’, maybe even Jo was abusive, or Jo betrayed us through being unfaithful or some other betrayal. The only way to heal a relationship is to acknowledge ‘what is’. We need to ask the following questions: What drew me to him? What caused me to stay? How did I choose to stay after identifying and experiencing that I was unhappy? Taking into consideration that I’ve done this before, what is it about me that keeps holding onto him?

Cord cutting can be a quick and seemingly efficient way to avoid these deeper questions and to deny ourselves the rich learning that can come out of such self investigation.  What experience shows us over and over again, you cut ‘Jo’ out of your life and ‘Bob’ is likely to come along and play out the same issues with us.

When it comes to cords what is useful is to find a healing practitioner who can work with them and assist you in your inner journey of healing the relationship. Healing the relationship does not mean becoming friends with that person again, what it means is to release all of the negative bonding that may exist and find peace with ourselves and with the relationship.

There are of course always exceptions to the rule. Whilst I am NOT an advocate of cutting cords, there are certain types of invasive cords that do indeed need to be cut. However, only an experienced and trained healer can work with those. A quick fix is never a quick fix. Every time we pass up on the opportunity to work on the wound at hand, it will simply come back to us in a different form – Jo leaves and Bob enters the room, Sally leaves and Paula enters, we cut the cord to Dad, and someone walks in who is just like Dad and so it continues until we decide to look at the deeper issues of all of our relationships. The one thing all of our difficult relationships have in common is us, so we must start with ourselves.

Cord Healing

So many of our relationships are karmic in nature, especially those that have impacted our lives. When we opt for the quick solution of cord cutting we deny ourselves the opportunity to resolve the deeper lessons in life. In my experience and observation even the cords that are cut with a ‘quick fix’ technique have not been cut, the cords become damaged and leak vital life force energy, potentially making the situation and the feelings worse. When we approach cords from a relational perspective then it is the relationship that needs to be healed. The challenge with that is that when we are not in our centre our default can be ‘he abused me’ or ‘she betrayed me’ and therefore that becomes the good enough reason not to ‘heal’ the relationship, but to oust that person from our reality. However, healing the relationship does not necessarily mean becoming friends once again with the other individual, but it does mean looking at our motivation for entering the relationship and perhaps our own ability to ignore or deny the early warning signs. Healing the relationship means looking at our part, without blame and recrimination. It also behoves us not to simply dismiss the deeper lesson of the relationship once we intellectually ‘get’ what was going on – the invitation is always to go deeper towards wounding that has nothing to do with the individual we are currently experiencing pain with, but has everything to do with early childhood wounding.

All of our relationships are reflections of our life’s lessons. Sometimes we hold onto relationships long after they have ceased to nourish and feed us – the fear of loneliness or a desperate attempt to change the other to fit our needs can lead to a lot of suffering. When we heal relational cords we can explore our inner world and resolve deeper issues that have been with us since childhood or for many lifetimes. Cord cutting is not a quick fix; it invariably leads to more prolonged suffering.

Invasive Cords

An invasive cord will often look like it is bulbous where it is attached to the chakra. The attachment can either be on the periphery of a chakra, in one specific vortex within a chakra or buried deep into the root. Some cords do not have the classic bulbous end to it, but appear to be wrapped around a part of a chakra, coiled up like a snake, and those coming into the throat chakra can literally appear like a thin hangman’s noose. Invasive Cords are formed generally when someone in authority, a parent, grandparent, religious organisation or abusive partner wishes to impose their will on the other and the recipient submits to that domination directly or indirectly. Invasive cords around the throat are often to do with ‘silencing the child’.

Invasive cords can also exist when one individual wishes to impose their will, dogma, belief system onto others. These can come from family members, religious or politically motivated individuals who wish to impose a particular ethos or ideology upon another.

Whilst invasive cords can be cut, they should only be done so by a professionally trained healer or be a healer who has worked full time with his/her craft for some years. What is vital to understand is that we can have many hidden loyalties towards the group, organization or individual who is supplanting us with an invasive cord. Most humans have negative attachments to other individuals and groups – when we’ve grown up with them, we tend to be loyal. As a healer I am not averse to cutting invasive cords, but I am averse to doing so when the deeper loyalties and bonds are ignored. All cords carry their own karma and the karma is part of our inner work. There are no short cuts.

How to Find a ‘Cord Healer’

Given everything I’ve said above the following is important to know:

–          Technique does not make a healer. Almost anyone can learn how to run and use energies?

–          What is the healer’s training and background?

–          How long have they had a full time practice?

–          Are they in continuing development?

–          Do they still have teachers or peers they work with?

There are many course that will teach you ‘how to’ in two or three days. If you know someone who went to a weekend cake baking course, you wouldn’t necessarily want them making your wedding cake. It is important to look at the capacity of the healer to be with you whilst working through deeper relationship issues.

All relationship issues ultimately return to the relationship with self.  This is where our work is.

To learn more about life changing perspectives on our ties and connections to others, read my book ‘The Healing of Individuals, Families and Nations’ HERE

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